In what can only be called an outrageous abuse of its power, industry body the AVA has announced that it has brought Christmas forward to 7 December.
“I’m delighted that we are hosting another Christmas Luncheon for our members and the members of the EDWCA.” Secret Santa, aka AVA CEO Jonathan Hart, told PV. “It will provide a great atmosphere for networking, to celebrate 2017 and look forward to the year ahead”, he said – with a straight face.
“It’s a tremendous opportunity for members to let their hair down”, he added. “I’m particularly looking forward to the new venue and raising lots of money for two very worthy causes; Mind, a mental health charity and Change People, which helps people with learning disabilities enter the world of work. As with previous years, demand will be high for this festive, must attend function so to avoid disappointment, book early.”
New venue? It’s Merchant Taylors’ Hall, a grand, 14th century guild hall, in London, near Lapland, which will be appropriately decked with bows of holly, fa la la la la, la la la la.
There’ll be the usual ‘bah, humbug!’ members’ meeting before what we’re assured will be ‘an elegant drinks reception’. Three shepherds will then lead guests into the Great Hall and the search to locate three wise men will begin.
Next, we’ll feast on a sumptuous menu and after we’ve all pulled a cracker or two, hard-core revelers will sneak off to the nearby Forge bar, where there’ll be ample opportunity to make fools of ourselves and become all-time legends of the vending industry.
It promises to be a proper cracker so, if you haven’t been before, why not put your mistletoes in the water and join in the festivities? You might even meet the new Chairman, a Mr. E. Scrooge.
If you’ve been good girls and boys and you’re members of the AVA or the EDWCA, (yep, it’s strictly ‘members only’), you can get your tickets now: Don’t forget, it’s 7th December. You have been warned…
God bless us, every one.
For tickets or for details of sponsorship packages, please contact Santa’s Little Helper.
Katy.Packer@the-ava.com
